chronicles of chronic despair.

somedays you don't feel like getting up the entire day. somedays you don't feel like switching off the hi-fi and getting into the shower. somedays you wish your cup of tea lasted forever and your favourite track playing in the background was stuck on repeat. somedays you loathe getting out and facing the rest of the world, including other human beings, some of whom may even act like they know you. somedays you don't like barking orders at others. somedays you are non-confrontational, to say the least. somedays you just wish the whole world would shut up and you had just a nanosecond of peace and quiet to yourself. somedays you just wish to nap in eternity. somedays you wish the rain would get it right and actually come when you're staying in and go when you're resolved to step out.

somedays you wish you didn't procrastinate so much and start your regime anew after a 2-week hiatus. somedays you wish you had something even remotely resembling a social life. somedays you don't like watching the televison at all but what the fuck else is there to do?! somedays, staring at your extended contact list on IM, you wish someone would actually say something to you so that you can have some social contact with another person you actually like, seeing as you have nothing notable you want to say in the first place cos you're so goddamned fucked up in the head.

somedays you wish you had the fucking balls to put your foot down and promise you'll speak to her and not just mope around for days on end cos you don't and have been living with that lack for close to 2 years, and cos these days are counting down to THE day when it'll almost be certain you won't have to live with that struggle no more cos she's going away.

somedays you wish you're not so miserable.